The "parang kayo, pero hindi" stage. Others call it MU or mutual understanding. Pseudo-relationships. Pseudo-boyfriends.Pseudo-girlfriend s, Flings. Almost like a relationship, but not quite. It is a phase where the persons involved are more than friends, but not quite lovers. Puwedeng may verbal agreement, puwedeng wala. One or both of you may have admitted your feelings, possible ding hindi. You just let your gestures do the talking for you. Walang pormal na ligawan na nangyari. Hindi kayo mag-on. Pero sa kilos niyo, sa mga sinasabi niyo, parang kayo, pero hindi. This kind of "relationship" can happen at different stages for different reasons. It can happen after a break-up. You still love each other, and you want to be with each other but you broke up for a reason. And for reasons that you alone know, ayaw niyo na muna magkabalikan. It can also happen before a relationship, iyong pareho kayong nakikiramdam. Possible din na ayaw niyo munang mag-seryoso kaya kunwa-kunwarian lang muna. Testing lang. Puwede ring hindi puwedeng maging kayo kasi isa sa inyo –usually the guy –may ka-relasyon na. Kaya habang hindi pa siya nakikipag-break doon sa girl (sabi niya makikipag-break siya soon pero di naman niya ginagawa, pwede ring vice-versa), wala muna kayong relasyon para nga naman hindi siya nangagaliwa kasi "hindi naman kayo." This pseudo-relationship stage, for a time, can be fun. Lalo na kung naghahanap ka lang naman ng "kalaro." Pero huwag ka lang mag-e-expect na may patutunguhan kayo kasi wala talagang kasiguraduhan. So bakit ang daming nagse-settle sa ganitong set up ganoong hindi naman sigurado kung may patutunguhan? Iba’t ibang dahilan. Puwedeng for fun lang. Puwedeng "buti na iyan kesa wala" or puwede na iyang "pantawid-gutom." Meaning, habang wala pa yong the real thing, doon muna sa kunwa-kunwarian. For those who are not in a serious relationship, they would think that pseudo-relationship is better than no relationship at all. It would be fun, if all you are after for is that "kilig" feeling. No commitments involved. For the simplest reason that they couldn’t commit, because they were either committed to someone else, or that they weren’t ready to commit. My rationalization, "okay na iyun, kesa wala." Ang habol ko lang naman, iyong kilig feeling. Iyong merong nagtatanong kung kumusta araw ko. Iyong merong ka-cuddle sa beach outing. Iyong kapag tumunog ang cellphone, mapapangiti na ako dahil alam kong galing sa kanya ang message. Iyong merong laging kasama,o kausap. Habang wala pa ang the real thing, tapos minsan k chat mo,puwede na itong pagtiyagaan. But then I learned that although it was only a pseudo-relationship, the emotions were real. Una, you can’t ask to commit. Since it’s not really a relationship, you can’t demand commitment from your partner. Ano ba kayo? May K ka nga ba magpasundo ng hatinggabi? You will always be uncertain about your role in his/her life. You can’t expect him/her to be always there with you. And if you feel jealous of the other girls/guys, you just have to keep it to yourself. Ano ka ba niya para magselos? Pangalawa, what if you fall deeply in love with him/her? You can’t be sure if he/she feels the same way. Baka nag-a-assume ka lang na mahal ka rin niya. Even if you are dying to tell you love him/her, you can’t. Because you’re not sure if she’ll like it. Baka mapahiya ka lang. This stage will always make you wonder where you are in the relationship. Or if there is a relationship at all. Pangatlo, what if you become attached too much? What if you have invested all your emotions and this man/woman hasn’t? What if you remain faithful to him/her, not entertaining other guys/girls, only to find out that he/she is seeing other guys/girls? Isa pang downside ng pseudo-relationships, it is fleeting. When a disagreement sets in, or when one of you gets cold, then that would be the end of it. Unlike in a serious relationship, hindi mo alam kung saan ka lulugar sa isang pseudo-relationship. Wala kang pinanghahawakan. Kasi sa pseudo-relationship, there is no "us." Meron lang "you and me," hindi "us." Buti
sana
kung pseudo-pain din lang ang mararanasan mo. Kaso, hindi eh. Real pain. And usually, kahit tapos na ang pseudo-relationship, hindi mo maiwasan umasang one day, may karugtong pa rin yun. And you will be miserable, hoping to bring back what you used to have, only to find out eventually that the guy/girl is in another pseudo-relationship with somebody else. Ang hirap, ano? You agreed to this kind of set up for fun and then you’d end up hurting yourself in the process.Pero puwede naman maiwasan ang pain eh. Puwede naman na hindi mo muna isipin ang future and just enjoy the feeling, without thinking of the consequences. But if you are certain that you are going to hurt yourself in the process, kailangan mo mamili. You can be happy and live the moment without worrying what would happen next. Or you can stop settling with pseudo-relationships and wait for the real thing. Ang bottom line lang naman, kung magpapasaya sa iyo, gawin mo. Ihanda mo lang ang sarili mo sa consequence. Dahil ang "parang kayo pero hindi" stage ay bihirang nagiging totoo. Usually, hanggang doon lang siya … almost, but not quite.
ANG AKIN……
well, nung nabasa ku toh… napaicip ku… sobrang ngandahan ku at parang totoo yung cnsabi nito… at bagay to me..you will realized n tlagang nhurt ka, in fact n hindi nmn kayo.pero da way na pnpkita nyo eh basta mgulo… totoo yung bka they tried to work it out para meron pring "kilig factor" pero mskit… you dont have the ryts nga dba???
basta ang akin lang s nkkrelate nito… 2 things lang yan… kung s tingin mu masaya ka, you have to face yung mngyayari… kung tingin mu eh nahhurt ka, layuan mu na cya… icipin mu nlng kung ilang beses k n nya nhurt… saka lng nya marerealized na "grabe!!! bkit ku pa iyon pnkawalan." magsisisi din yan…
stay happy and enjoy… malay nyu my the real one kah, and the real thing… =)
thanks yanee
